Moving in with your partner is often a great idea. There are many advantages to it. For example, you can cut down on living expenses and even spend more time together. But it can easily go wrong if you are not careful. There are several mistakes you can make when moving in that can put your relationship in danger. To help you avoid them and ensure you and your partner will have a good time, here are some things to avoid.
Not Discussing the Money Issue
One of the biggest problems that you will face when you move in together is money. Finances are a big source of stress when it comes to relationships. Married couples experience it, and you and your partner will experience it too if you move in together. For example, the question of who pays for essential services like the plumbing technician or the electrician can be a hot button issue. This is even worse when one partner earns more than the other.
To avoid arguments about money, you should sit down with your partner and hammer out a household budget. This should answer the question of who pays what. You might decide on pooling funds together into a household account while keeping separate accounts to ensure your financial independence. You would then agree on how much money each puts into the living expenses. Take note that you should be upfront about any debts you owe like student loans. This might affect how much you can contribute so honesty is the best approach.
Assuming that It Is Like Having a Roommate
Many people assume that moving in with a partner is like having a roommate. Since they usually had a roommate or two back in college or when they newly-graduated, they think that it should be fine. The problem is that the situations are completely different. A partner is much more intimate than a roommate. For one, you didn’t share a bed with your roommate. You had some level of privacy. Partners get into your personal space when you live together, and that can be very uncomfortable.
The key thing here is that you should create some space for yourself. Talk with your partner about setting up boundaries. For example, you can have a small space that is exclusively for yourself. You can retreat there when you have to get some alone time.
Forgetting to Create a Chore Schedule
Maintaining your life together can be a very busy chore. After all, someone has to cook dinner, clean things, and more. If you and your partner lived independently, you should be able to do most of those things. But with a partner, the work doubles. Additionally, when you live with someone, it is easy to assume that they will do it. This can easily create resentment though.
If you want to make things work smoothly, you will need to sit down with your partner and discuss a chore schedule. This ensures that everything can get done promptly. No more laundry hampers overflowing or plates in the sink. To make it simple, you can ask your partner what chores they life doing. Some people like doing the laundry while others love to vacuum. If you and your partner focus on tasks that you enjoy, then it is more likely that they get done without any delays
Doing All the Decorating
If it is your habit to decorate everything when you move into a new place, curb some of that urge. Remember that you are now part of a couple. Doing all the decorating cuts out the other half of your relationship. When you move in and start decorating, talk with your partner about what they want. For example, you should discuss what color to use for the walls or what furniture to pick out. Adding them to the discussion allows them to make a mark on your new home. This shows that they are an equal part of your relationship.
However, if one of you is moving into another person’s place, there are already decorations there. Don’t leave it like that. Have you or your partner add a special touch to the place. This ensures that the place feels more like home for two people instead of one.
Moving in with your partner can take your relationship to the next level. But it can also easily wreck it. Knowing the mistakes above can help you maneuver through the relationship landmines that moving in presents people with. Do it right, and your relationship will become much stronger for all the challenges it will face later on.
