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How to Be a Good Conversationalist on a Date

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A conversation is as much a key ingredient to a successful first date as what to wear and where to go. The longer and deeper the conversation, the greater the likelihood of a connection on the second date, and hope for the future.

Here are some tips to help you out:

1. Be genuinely interested in the other person

Nobody likes to date a person who spends the entire time talking about themselves. Take the opportunity to use the date to find out more about the person you are dating, and the best way to do this is to actively listen. Ask questions about their hobbies and talents, about their families and what they enjoy. Make sure to ask follow-up questions.

2. Be open and honest about yourself

It is natural to want to put your best self forward when on a date, but this doesn’t mean that you can’t still be yourself. Be honest when revealing information about yourself. It is okay to be real and even admit you’re feeling nervous.

3. Give and take

Giving and taking when conversing is essential to build bridges. Listen carefully, and then take the knowledge you have acquired about the other person to continue the conversation by taking the conversation one step further. For instance, if your date says they enjoy going to museums, ask them which one and if they have seen any particular exhibition.

Alternately, you can play 36 questions to lead to love, created by a New York psychologist Professor Arthur Arun. He had created two sets of question cards in a lab, which when practiced between couples, could lead to a deeper connection (and their eventual marriage.)

It is important that the parties are sharing a 50-50 agreement.

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4. Tone, eye contact, and body language

Communication isn’t just about the words you use but also about the way in which you speak, Ensure you are speaking slowly, clearly and with a low intonation. Don’t rush the conversation in your excitement. Remain calm and enjoy the present moment in the company of your date.

5. Be sparing with humor

Don’t forget why you are on the date — and you are there to have fun! And humor is another important ingredient when it comes to conversation. Studies have repeatedly shown that humor is linked to attractiveness. Laughter can help a date go well as it lightens the mood and makes people more open. with each other.


Talk about anything and everything but ensure the person organizing the party is there. Avoid talking about your exes in too much length or detail, or analyzing your accountant’s seemingly bored demeanor. Too much information, such as the psychologist you visit, is a case of oversharing and should be avoided on the first date.

Those who use a professional dating or matchmaking service have the advantage of being matched up with partners who already share commonalities, but the conversation is still needed to get the chemistry flowing. Make sure you’re a great communicator that people want to spend time with.

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